Preparation for Reunion


A reunion between two long-separated birth family members is generally a much anticipated and exciting occasion. There is very little in life which can compare to meeting a child or parent after a long separation!

Are you ready to begin the journey to reunion? Do you feel prepared to contact your newly found birth family member? “Preparation Before Contact” is an excellent article for adoptees written by birth mother, Amy Bredes.

Many of the steps to prepare yourself for a search also help to prepare you for reunion. Self-examination, considering outcomes, and expectations are all crucial to being prepared for reunion. These steps include:

  • Read as much about adoption reunion and healing as possible;
  • Have your support systems in place;
  • Re-examine your expectations;
  • Hang on, hold tight and get ready for the ride of your life!


Read - A list of recommended books is provided for you in Appendix D. AdoptionProducts.com has a wide selection of adoption books available as well.

Notes of caution about your reading:

  • Limit your reading to prevent feeling overwhelmed and confused about conflicting information that you may find. Keep in mind that you are reading to get a broad overview of reunion.
  • Do not get discouraged when reading about negative reunion experiences. All reunions have some similarities, and many differences. Your reunion will be like none other.
  • Remember that your birth parent or relinquished child is a unique individual.. Do not expect that everything that you read in general will fit your child or birth parent.
The past cannot be regained, although we can learn from it; the future is not ours yet even though we must plan for it .Time is now. We have only today. ~ Charles Hummell

Check out articles at Adoption.com that detail some of the most common issues that adoptees face. This page is all about adoptees and provides some insight for birth parents.

Support systems should be in place. If you have been unable to find a support group in your area, consider starting one yourself.

The forums at Adoption.com. are an amazing resource. Find a thread about reunions, and read along. If you have a perplexing issue, begin a thread and get some feedback. Don’t let all the conflicting opinions confuse you. The trick is to read as many different opinions as possible, mull over the advice, and then make your own decision.

Expectations need to be reexamined. Stay positive but be prepared for anything! Keep your expectations as realistic as possible.

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Credits: Jan Baker