Get the Word Out
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Make it known that you are searching for a birth family member. There are two basic steps in getting the word out: talking to your family and registering with adoption registries.
Divide your search into manageable segments. If you can approach your search one step at a time, you may feel less overwhelmed. Take pleasure and enjoy each small discovery. Remember that each success brings you closer to your goal!
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Talk to Your Family
For AdopteesTalking to your family for adoptees means your adoptive parents, and any other family members who were present during the adoption process. Many adoptees would prefer to exclude their adoptive parents from search plans in order to protect their feelings. There are many reasons that including them can be beneficial.
Your adoptive parents will probably find out about your search. Keeping secrets often backfires, but ultimately, you are the best judge of your family dynamics.
“Adoptees- Ask Your Parents for Help” says Adopting.org. Read here for a great tip in this regard. It could help you get your records more easily.
If the adoption was a private one, your adoptive parents may have your birth mother’s name. Do not assume that because your adoptive parents have not provided you with information about details of your adoption that they have none. Adoptive parents sometimes operate on the theory that they will provide details if asked. They may assume that unless you ask, you have no interest in knowing.
The two best reasons to talk to your adoptive parents:
- They may have information that can save you a great deal of time, money and energy.
- They may be supportive of your search and this might draw you closer.
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© Excerpted from the Adoption.com Guide to Search and Reunion, published by Adoption Media, LLC
Credits: Jan Baker
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