After the Search is Completed, Page 2

The following is a format that a birth parent might want to use when writing a letter to an adoptee:

Date:

Dear:

Perhaps the best way to begin my letter is to first establish my identity. My name is (first, maiden & married if birth mother; first and last if birth father). I was born in 19__ in (city, state). I relinquished my (son/daughter) for adoption at their birth on (day, month, year) in (city/state). I have registered my Consent for Contact Form with the (name of adoption agency or name of governing agency for state of adoption).

If you would like to contact the agency they can confirm our relationship to each other. Their phone number is (area code and number). You can also have the agency forward a letter if you would prefer to correspond through their services. I would be very pleased to hear from you if you would like to contact me directly. I want to leave that decision to you. Please know that I have never forgotten you.

Sincerely,

Name:

Address:

Phone number:

Email address:

There are circumstances that necessitate making a phone call instead of sending a letter. If making a phone call is the best option available try to make the call at a time when it is not during the dinner hour; not before 10:00 A.M.; not after 9:00 P.M. at night. Have a paper and pencil ready to make notes. Be sure and identify yourself by current name and by birth name. You might ask the person you called if this is a convenient time to call. Remember that other people may be in the same room with the person that you are calling and that they may not be able to talk confidentially at the time you call. It's a good idea to ask them to write down your name and phone number in case you get
disconnected or if they need to call you back at a more convenient time for them.

A knock on the front door for an instant face-to-face first contact is never recommended. Save the face-to-face meeting for a time when you have mutually agreed to meet in person.

© Colleen Buckner